The maid asked for a raise, and the wife was upset. She asked, “Now, Helen, why do you think you deserve a pay increase?” Helen: “There are three reasons. The first is that I iron better than you.” Wife:

Who said that?” Helen: “Your husband.” Wife: “Oh.” Helen: “The second reason is that I am a better cook than you.” Wife: “Who said that?” Helen: “Your husband.” Wife: “Oh.”Wife: “Oh.” Helen: “The third reason is that I am better at sex than you.” Wife: “Did my husband say that as well?” Helen: “No, the gardener did.” Wife: “So, how much do you want?”